LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .


                                                 "SEASON'S GREETINGS"

There is a tendency at this time of year to offer greetings or holiday wishes to those we have little regular contact with throughout the rest of the year.  It is nice to hear all of the good wishes being exchanged!  It is too bad that does not extend to the rest of the year.  It is like when there are tragic events that come into our lives and we lay aside whatever other feelings we may have to pay our respects to the grieving family or pitch in and help in a natural disaster.  It is as if we need a higher, a special, or a tragic event to move us outside of our normal response patterns. 

There is something in that common to our humanity.  I have often wondered if it is the tendency to need an external stimulus or source of motivation to do what we would not otherwise freely choose to do.  We see this all the time in parenting.  Our children often need us to provide that external stimulus or motivation to do the responsible thing.  How many adults would obey the traffic laws if it were not for a law enforcement deterrent?  How about doing what our bosses ask on their terms?

I have often wondered why it is so hard to internalize what we are offered externally, especially when we know it would be in our best interest to do so.  Sometimes I think it is just our natural reticence or resistance against being governed from an outside source.  Sometimes I think we do not agree with what is being asked of us.  Sometimes it is a lack of trust that others have our best interest at heart.
Sometimes I think we already have life experiences and the corresponding emotional deterrents in our conditioning that resist such choices being made freely.

Whatever it is we all know that those tendencies lie within us.  We like to self-govern.  Too little and we risk being irresponsible, too much and we risk being entitled.  Somewhere in between there is a healthy middle ground of self-regulation.  Venturing out into the realm of the extremes can be healthy or unhealthy.  Sometimes amazingly innovative discoveries are the result of trying something risky and a bit extreme.  Sometimes those same choices and behaviors result in disaster.

Self-regulation is worthy topic of discussion, one that deserves much more than what is being said here.  The holiday season provides all of us with an opportunity to practice it on multiple levels: spending, sleeping, eating, partying and so forth.  We joke about it every year as we push those boundaries to the extreme.  It is almost an inherited right or tradition in our culture!  Perhaps it is a form of catharsis, an excuse to release whatever has been pent up inside of us.

I don't know what makes for a "good" holiday season for you and your family.  Some would scoff that there is no possibility for such in their life.  Perhaps we can somehow be a part of reversing that for someone in our corner of the world this year: by volunteering, by giving, by simply greeting someone you would not otherwise greet.  I hope the holiday season recharges you, refreshes you and gives you pause to reflect as we end one year and enter another.

Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!