LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .


                                            
                                              "THE MATRIX OF OUR LIVES" 

 
Control is a powerful commodity in our world.  To attempt to obtain, possess and maintain control over that which we perceive we need is a human drive.  It is not simply an individual reality; it plays out on the global stage everyday.  Alliances are formed in pursuit of common acquisitions.  We cluster together in tightly or loosely formed communities in the service of some common goal, cause, challenge, etc. 

Although it can be, this is not necessarily a negative strategy.  A lot will be accomplished in our world today because people join together in pursuit of a common outcome.  It is the power of the collective; what we cannot accomplish alone might be attainable collectively.  This is why we form or join communities.  Many communities, then, are "homogeneous" in nature, formed on the basis of that which is similar or common.  There are, however, "heterogeneous" communities which emphasize diversity toward a desired outcome.

In recent blogs I have written about crisis and trauma.  One of the most powerful dynamics around those events is the overwhelming sense of powerlessness and the loss of control that can occur within seconds.  Anyone who has ever experienced crisis or trauma knows that transition into what many describe as a surreal or alternate reality.  I have never heard a survivor report enjoying the journey or experience.  It is startling, jarring, to say the least.  It can be acutely or chronically disturbing. 

This journey into a chaotic, "boundary-free zone," where literally anything is possible or can happen impacts one's grounding in oneself.  In a recent documentary on PTSD one survivor said seeing one of his parents was his threshold back, his first touch or experience with his former reality or world.
As I continued to watch the documentary there was one scene where survivors expressed their difficulty trying to talk to anyone about their experiences who had/has not had a similar experience.

Perhaps it would be wise for us to acknowledge that we do not know what it was/is like for them and that there may not be words to accurately describe their experience(s).  In our attempt or grasp for control over that which they already know was out of their control, they often feel missed and even more isolated.  It is often our misguided attempt to reach out, identify, fix, be helpful or get a handle on their experience.  It testifies to our lack of such experiences and says more about us, our strategies of helpfulness or our discomfort with existential angst.

Personally and as a therapist I have learned so much from just sitting with survivors or in my own "stuff" as a survivor.  If you are familiar with the story of Job you will recognize this as the failure of his friends who would have been far more effective if they could have just sat with Job.  Survival experiences "outside the box" often heighten one's sense of their own perceptual world(s).  This can have an adaptive outcome not just in the lives of the survivors themselves but in what they could potential contribute to any community.  How sad if those contributions are lost!

An adaptive response can be like a matrix out of which amazing new thoughts, insights and perceptions are generated.  These need not be threatening to us.  All of us as human beings live within a matrix whether we realize it or not.  The irony is our desire to analyze and control it robs us of all that could be ours.  Hmmm!  Food for thought; food for life!  I would love to expound on this one in an integrated treatise!

Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!