LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .


                                                     "DEFINITIONS OF INTEGRITY"


Have you ever thought about the fact that definitions are often two-sided?  We define things both by what they are and by what they are not.  We often begin with what something is not as a means of trying to figure out what it is.  We know what we do not want but are unsure of exactly what we do want. We do this on multiple levels across our lives.  It is a normal process.

Adolescents often do this in terms of trying to figure out their own identities.  They know who they are not; "I am not you Dad and I am not you Mom!"  It is a part of their differentiation to declare that they are different than either of their parents.  Then they move toward their peers, their studies or some activities to try to figure out who they are; they are individuating.  "I am not you . . . I am different than you . . . I am trying to figure out who I am."  This often occurs quietly, almost without notice.  At other times it can be quite a tumultuous process for both parents and adolescents.

In adult life it continues to be a challenge.  It often feels disruptive to one member of a couple when the other is still defining themselves.  It can feel threatening if one member tends to be more static in their being and the other is more dynamic.  Can the relationship bear the tensions as each grows across the life cycle and the seasons of life?  Growth implies change.  Can our relationships bear those transitions and the tensions those processes generate?

We seem to live in a world that is very much in flux.  That seems to be generating a lot of anxiety for a lot of people.  By the time we embrace one change it is already outdated and the next shift is in process.  We especially see this in the field of technology and social media.  Some fields seem to move forward at lightning speed while others lag far behind.  For example, an advance in medical technology often occurs well in advance of all the ethical dilemmas the application of such an advance poses.  Adjunct fields struggle to keep pace. 

Figuring out who we are in the midst of a world in constant flux is a challenge.  For example, what do we think about . . . what do we feel about . . . what would we like to choose in regard to whatever the present topic or situation is?  Most of the time I believe it is us trying to figure out who we are in a cultural milieu that is constantly evolving or shifting.  We are both static and dynamic beings; not to be confused with static and dynamic forces that come to bear on our lives at any given moment from external sources.  Some times we feel bombarded from both within and externally and that can feel destabilizing.

As Fall approaches we will find ourselves in the midst of potentially numerous defining entities, forces and opportunities.  I hope we will not be rattled by these as much as see them as opportunities to grow and change where indicated while hanging on to what we deem valuable as constants in ourselves and our lives.  We will always live in a world in flux.  It will always be a challenge.  If we can figure out the constants and hold on to them tenaciously while embracing the tension of those shifting realities, we might have an easier journey.

Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!