LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .


                                                  "Boundaries Or Breaking Points"


I love watching sporting events.  We often forget that from a spectator's perspective the game looks very different than from the field perspective of the players.  Armchair coaches and commentators have the advantage of the bird's eye, or blimp, perspective.  That often explains our frustration with players and coaches. What needed to be done looks so clear from our perspective; why didn't they see or anticipate the same and execute accordingly? 

The same is true on so many levels in life.  It is easy to comment or stand in judgment from a
spectator's perspective.  It is so much harder to be "on the field" or "in the arena," in the thick of whatever situation trying to make accurate judgment calls and predict outcomes.  That is not to say that we should not be spectators or that we should not have our own perspectives.  It is just a good reminder to all of us to realize we are not "in their shoes."  Who knows what we would really find ourselves doing if we were or if we were them? 

We all have our comfort zones.  Most of us do not like crossing those boundaries toward life outside of those zones.  Some people throw up walls as if there is no life across those boundary lines.  Or, they believe that even if there is life "out there" if cannot possibly be right, justifiable, normal or healthy.  But what if life across those boundaries, or outside those walls, is all that another human being has ever known?  What if it is their norm?  Now, what?  They are just wrong, abnormal or unhealthy?

Sometimes the people we learn the most from are those that are different from ourselves.  They have so much to offer us if we can tolerate those differences long enough to consider what they offer.  That does not mean we are going to jump the fence or be tainted by listening or entering into the dialogue.  Those responses may be more of an indication of our own insecurities or anxieties around difference.
Perhaps it is an indication of our own vulnerabilities to outside influences. 

Such engagement often tests the limits of our securities, reveals the true nature of our vulnerabilities and puts the spotlight on our existing anxieties.  That in itself may present a growing experience rich in possibilities not based on embracing what they offer as much as a deeper understanding of oneself!
Having said all of this, it is important to realize that we all have our paradigms or filters through which we view life.  We all have our morals and standards, our ethical school biases, our norms and our "normalized" norms, even if we are unaware or unable to accurately articulate them.

Are the boundaries of our comfort zones really healthy boundaries or indications of our breaking points based on our human and personal limitations?  We all make choices conscious and otherwise regarding what we will do within and with what lies outside of our present comfort zones.  What have you chosen to do historically?  Are you still comfortable with that chosen path?  If not, how would you like to change your strategy? 

Increasingly, the challenges before us are multifaceted.  Global situations are inviting us to either withdraw or engage at deeper levels than ever before.  In order to do so we need to grow in our understanding of ourselves, others and the world.  This includes a deeper understanding of the paradigms out of which we have chosen to live.  It includes a deeper understanding of both our boundaries and our "breaking points." 

In the arena of sports I love watching players passionately pursue a course of action or direction only to break right or left at a decisive moment and create a new pathway toward the intended goal.  It often brings us to our feet cheering, or in complaint.  Sometimes in life we need to do the same thing in order to get to the intended goal.  This often implies steep learning curves, confronting our fears and embracing our dignity and freedom.

Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!