LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .
"TERM" VERSUS "WHOLE LIFE"
In my third blog I talked about the fact that we are teleological beings; that whether we realize it or not our lives are directional in nature. A lot of the time we are just simply doing what we know or perceive we need to do to meet the needs in our own lives and the lives of those we love. We probably think about making "directional" decisions at crossroads or defining moments of our lives: around education, jobs, careers, health, life partners, parenting, retirement, etc.
One of the great stressors in our lives is that we perceive that these defining choices set the terms for the seasons that follow. Although that is true it is not the entire truth. It is almost as if we perceive that in making a defining decision that takes us down a designated pathway in life, we somehow lose touch with making moment-by-moment decisions in the aftermath. That tendency erodes the joy and freedom we experienced in making the original decision.
When I think about the picture of my life I know that there were, from the beginning, pieces of framework that were out of my control: bio-genetics, basic personality construct, early childhood conditioning, geographic and cultural forces, etc. These are so powerful in shaping our lives there has been much debate about whether or not their influence can ever be entirely eradicated.
If we think about these forming a kind of framework, then some of the defining choices we make might be thought about as choosing the mattes around the portraits of our lives. Much of the framework of my life was outside of my control. When I chose to yield to that gentle pull toward embracing a life of faith that was matte-work. As I began to yield to that gentle pull toward a committed life of faith, a year later in that hospital room, that was matte-work.
I know it is time for me to attempt to tell the whole story. I know it will be the culmination of a life lived in cooperation with God's quiet grace at work in my life. It will reflect the integration of my theology and my psychology with my life story. I don't know it any other way. The reality of who He is came to bear on my life, healing and changing me forever.
That first decision in New Testament class was when I agreed to a personal relationship with God on His "term." That second decision, in the midst of that medical crisis at nineteen, was my first "whole life" decision. Outside of all of this is a piece of framework that was totally out of my control: I do not have a single pre-God memory in my sixty plus years. It is my earliest memory somewhere between eighteen months and two years old. I had to ask my mother how old I was to peg the timeframe before she passed away.
When I mentioned in my last blog that I knew that what was being revealed to me was one of the "mysteries of life," I wasn't trying to exaggerate or be overly dramatic. I simply know what all of this has meant to my journey through life. It was like finding something so unique and valuable you are willing to give up everything to have more of it. Nothing has so captivated and held my attention in life!
What about you? What has formed your framework? What mattes have you chosen? How has your framework and mattes influenced and shaped your life narrative? Have you ever thought about it?
Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .
"QUIET GRACE IN STORMY TIMES"
In my last blog I left you at the bedside of a nineteen year old girl whose life was in crisis. Looking back now I realize I was standing at a crossroad, in the midst of some kind of existential crisis that was demanding a response. The forces pulling on my life externally were powerfully pulling me in one direction. Internally, "something" was drawing me; it was different than anything I had ever experienced except for what I had felt stirring in me a year earlier. . .
After high school I had scholarships to the three state universities and one to Grand Canyon College. I chose the latter because it offered eighty per cent of tuition and fees as long as I kept my grades above a certain grade point average. I needed that help so I registered as a math major and plunged into my studies. The only requirement peculiar to that school was that every student was required to take three religious courses: Old and New Testament survey courses plus one upper division course.
My Old Testament professor was a gentle giant of a man, Dr. William Hintze. His wife Barb was in my Calculus & Analytical Geometry class. They had been missionaries in Quito, Ecuador for years. Not having been raised in a religious home or "Sunday schooled," I was unfamiliar with the subject matter. My only goal was to get an "A" and keep my scholarship. I was relieved when I had Dr. Hintze for New Testament the following semester because it meant I only had to learn the course material, I was familiar with the professor. His humble brilliance added appeal to his presentations.
Early one morning while studying for a quiz, I felt like my "eyes were open" to understanding the story of the Bible. I felt a gentle pull inside of myself to surrender to the truth I was understanding on more than just an intellectual level. I cried, I prayed, I embraced by faith that Jesus was the Christ, the Old Testament Messiah. I had no idea, no framework, to understand what had just happened. I knew something was different but couldn't put my finger on it; so I just kept going.
That same gentle pull was at work on and in me a year later in the hospital. Internally I experienced it as "quietly inviting and settling;" and yet, I sensed it was going to have external implications that might be somewhat "intrusive" in terms of my life choices. I knew that what had been revealed to me, what I had caught a glimpse of, was one of life's mysteries.
What was even more intriguing to me was that the pull of the quiet was stronger than the power of any external force in my life. I spent the first ten years of my life growing up in "tornado alley." I was intrigued as a little girl with the profound and utter quiet in the "eye" of those storms. I wanted to know more of this gentle quiet in the storms of life. I wished I could learn to live there. I had no idea what that would mean. Do you know that reality?
Until next time . . .this is, Just Janice!
"QUIET GRACE IN STORMY TIMES"
In my last blog I left you at the bedside of a nineteen year old girl whose life was in crisis. Looking back now I realize I was standing at a crossroad, in the midst of some kind of existential crisis that was demanding a response. The forces pulling on my life externally were powerfully pulling me in one direction. Internally, "something" was drawing me; it was different than anything I had ever experienced except for what I had felt stirring in me a year earlier. . .
After high school I had scholarships to the three state universities and one to Grand Canyon College. I chose the latter because it offered eighty per cent of tuition and fees as long as I kept my grades above a certain grade point average. I needed that help so I registered as a math major and plunged into my studies. The only requirement peculiar to that school was that every student was required to take three religious courses: Old and New Testament survey courses plus one upper division course.
My Old Testament professor was a gentle giant of a man, Dr. William Hintze. His wife Barb was in my Calculus & Analytical Geometry class. They had been missionaries in Quito, Ecuador for years. Not having been raised in a religious home or "Sunday schooled," I was unfamiliar with the subject matter. My only goal was to get an "A" and keep my scholarship. I was relieved when I had Dr. Hintze for New Testament the following semester because it meant I only had to learn the course material, I was familiar with the professor. His humble brilliance added appeal to his presentations.
Early one morning while studying for a quiz, I felt like my "eyes were open" to understanding the story of the Bible. I felt a gentle pull inside of myself to surrender to the truth I was understanding on more than just an intellectual level. I cried, I prayed, I embraced by faith that Jesus was the Christ, the Old Testament Messiah. I had no idea, no framework, to understand what had just happened. I knew something was different but couldn't put my finger on it; so I just kept going.
That same gentle pull was at work on and in me a year later in the hospital. Internally I experienced it as "quietly inviting and settling;" and yet, I sensed it was going to have external implications that might be somewhat "intrusive" in terms of my life choices. I knew that what had been revealed to me, what I had caught a glimpse of, was one of life's mysteries.
What was even more intriguing to me was that the pull of the quiet was stronger than the power of any external force in my life. I spent the first ten years of my life growing up in "tornado alley." I was intrigued as a little girl with the profound and utter quiet in the "eye" of those storms. I wanted to know more of this gentle quiet in the storms of life. I wished I could learn to live there. I had no idea what that would mean. Do you know that reality?
Until next time . . .this is, Just Janice!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .
DECLARATIONS OF DIGNITY
When I thought about writing this blog about dignity I thought it might be a good idea to check out Webster's to get an official working definition. It offers three uses of the word: the first refers to "the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed;" the second refers to one of "high rank, office or position;" the third, to a posture of "formal reserve of manner, language, or appearance." I am glad I decided to check it out; it affirms much of what I believe.
Dignity is inherent to being human. It is not something that is "up for grabs," even though we live in a world that often behaves in such a manner. We often think, feel or choose to behave in ways that would deny the dignity of another; we use our dignity to attempt to un-dignify another. We only need listen to the news or observe those in our own worlds to confirm this increasing reality in these tumultuous times. The injustices of our day are assaults against the dignity of others.
To treat others with dignity is to respect what it means for them to be human. We do not have to like or agree with how they have chosen to live out their dignity but it is important that we respect their right to do so and to live with the consequences of the same. This is where it often gets very messy to navigate those waters well rather than ending up adrift ourselves. That is why we need plumb lines in our lives to anchor and center our lives.
I have often wished I could have grown up in a world where it was easy to embrace a belief system. I felt a lot of shame for not having such an opportunity. That shame left me feeling defective, less than, "behind" others who just seemed to know what they believed. It did not appear to be a struggle for them. I felt like I was wrestling so hard to come to terms with what they just seemed to reach out and believe. As a nineteen year old university student, I knew I was wrestling with existential issues that would shape the course of my life and that it would not come without a price.
I was at a crisis point and needed to decide what I was going to believe and trust, be it philosophical, spiritual, or what. The struggle was so fierce I almost died. The forces pulling on my life were pulling in diametrically opposed directions and threatened my very existence. I felt it inside and the doctors were confirming it at my bedside. I ended up in three hospitals and in an unconscious state in an intensive care unit before it was over. Perhaps one day I will tell that story.
For this purpose suffice it to say I needed to figure out what was going to be my plumb line, the anchor at the center of my belief system. I needed that plumb line to be and increasingly become the object of my faith. I knew it was not going to happen for me apart from a total commitment to a path and a life long journey. Part of the difficulty for me was that it has never been enough for me to just know what I believe, I have always wrestled with why I believe what I believe.
In the final analysis I know I believe what I do because I have chosen to believe in response to what is at work on and in me. Today, I am glad that I have wrestled through the issues along the way, in figuring out what I believe. I know I will continue to do so as I live out my life. I have watched others who have chosen what they belief and then hit a crisis and need to figure out what that means; sometimes it damages or nearly destroys either their ability to believe or their belief system itself. Sometimes it merely refines the beliefs they already hold to be true. These are different journeys, not right and wrong ones. One is not necessarily logically prior.
Needless to say, I felt the full weight at nineteen of choosing my plumb line, external and internal. I feared being deceived, choosing the wrong one and living with the consequences of it. I needed to figure out what I believed and why I believed it. In the final analysis what was going to be my ultimate authority? What was going to be the compass that would keep me from ever going too far adrift? What was going to anchor me from the outside and center me from the inside on my life journey?
These are weighty matters that deserve our full attention and consideration. Have you answered them for your own life?
Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!
DECLARATIONS OF DIGNITY
When I thought about writing this blog about dignity I thought it might be a good idea to check out Webster's to get an official working definition. It offers three uses of the word: the first refers to "the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed;" the second refers to one of "high rank, office or position;" the third, to a posture of "formal reserve of manner, language, or appearance." I am glad I decided to check it out; it affirms much of what I believe.
Dignity is inherent to being human. It is not something that is "up for grabs," even though we live in a world that often behaves in such a manner. We often think, feel or choose to behave in ways that would deny the dignity of another; we use our dignity to attempt to un-dignify another. We only need listen to the news or observe those in our own worlds to confirm this increasing reality in these tumultuous times. The injustices of our day are assaults against the dignity of others.
To treat others with dignity is to respect what it means for them to be human. We do not have to like or agree with how they have chosen to live out their dignity but it is important that we respect their right to do so and to live with the consequences of the same. This is where it often gets very messy to navigate those waters well rather than ending up adrift ourselves. That is why we need plumb lines in our lives to anchor and center our lives.
I have often wished I could have grown up in a world where it was easy to embrace a belief system. I felt a lot of shame for not having such an opportunity. That shame left me feeling defective, less than, "behind" others who just seemed to know what they believed. It did not appear to be a struggle for them. I felt like I was wrestling so hard to come to terms with what they just seemed to reach out and believe. As a nineteen year old university student, I knew I was wrestling with existential issues that would shape the course of my life and that it would not come without a price.
I was at a crisis point and needed to decide what I was going to believe and trust, be it philosophical, spiritual, or what. The struggle was so fierce I almost died. The forces pulling on my life were pulling in diametrically opposed directions and threatened my very existence. I felt it inside and the doctors were confirming it at my bedside. I ended up in three hospitals and in an unconscious state in an intensive care unit before it was over. Perhaps one day I will tell that story.
For this purpose suffice it to say I needed to figure out what was going to be my plumb line, the anchor at the center of my belief system. I needed that plumb line to be and increasingly become the object of my faith. I knew it was not going to happen for me apart from a total commitment to a path and a life long journey. Part of the difficulty for me was that it has never been enough for me to just know what I believe, I have always wrestled with why I believe what I believe.
In the final analysis I know I believe what I do because I have chosen to believe in response to what is at work on and in me. Today, I am glad that I have wrestled through the issues along the way, in figuring out what I believe. I know I will continue to do so as I live out my life. I have watched others who have chosen what they belief and then hit a crisis and need to figure out what that means; sometimes it damages or nearly destroys either their ability to believe or their belief system itself. Sometimes it merely refines the beliefs they already hold to be true. These are different journeys, not right and wrong ones. One is not necessarily logically prior.
Needless to say, I felt the full weight at nineteen of choosing my plumb line, external and internal. I feared being deceived, choosing the wrong one and living with the consequences of it. I needed to figure out what I believed and why I believed it. In the final analysis what was going to be my ultimate authority? What was going to be the compass that would keep me from ever going too far adrift? What was going to anchor me from the outside and center me from the inside on my life journey?
These are weighty matters that deserve our full attention and consideration. Have you answered them for your own life?
Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
LET'S TALK ABOUT . . .
ABSOLUTELY YOUR'S
Last time we asked the question of epistemology, or how do you know what you know? In this blog I promised to explore, how do we know whatever we know is true? It is more a question of who or what we have chosen to trust as having authority in our lives. If, as I proposed in my second blog, we truly need an external plumb line in our lives to anchor us, then that plumb line carries a lot of weight in terms of authority.
Plumb lines actually serve multiple purposes in our lives. They not only have authority, they also serve as reference points against which we can develop and espouse coherent and consistent belief systems that keep our lives moored and constant. They carry the weight of informing, affirming, confirming and reassuring us regarding the choices we make and the lives we live.
We all have a plumb line, or even multiple plumb lines if we embrace relativism, pluralism, etc. as authoritative and definitive standards in our lives. This is why certain chosen plumb lines, like relativism and pluralism leave us feeling adrift, lost and confused; they themselves lack constancy and consistency. As human beings we all need a certain amount of constancy and consistency in our lives. We all gravitate in some direction in order to meet this need. It is called teleology, we are directional beings. For the most part, our lives are primarily lived out moving in the direction of getting our real or perceived needs met.
I would challenge you to spend the next week aware of two things. First, listen for how many times you hear yourself or others use the word need. Second, be aware of how often you do the things you do in order to meet some real or perceived need in your life. Become more aware of why those around you or even at large in our world(s) are doing the things that consume most of their time and energy; it is primarily because of some real or perceived need in their lives, society or even on the world stage.
In the final analysis each one of us is going to choose to invest faith or belief in some internal or external reference point or plumb line in order to anchor us, to make sense out of our lives, to answer those existential questions about the meaning of our existence. We all have, are and will do this whether or not we are consciously aware we are doing so. So in the final analysis, your plumb line is both faithfully yours and absolutely yours. No one can live your life for you; you have to come to terms with these issues for yourself. That is part of what it means to live out our lives; to exercise our dignity in the pursuit of the same. That word dignity is huge is this regard.
In my next blog I would like to address issues of dignity as they fit into this construct. I am sure that some or perhaps many of you would like me to simply tell you what I believe on this issues. Do not weary! I am laying a foundation, attempting to build a solid construct, on which to do so. Exercise those rational muscles. Enter the struggle, even if you have already made your choices . . . check them out! I believe we have been spoon-fed what to believe for way too long; not doing the hard work of understanding why we have chosen to believe what we do about existential issues that serve as both internal and external plumb lines in our lives.
This is why many young adults are struggling in our world. They are searching for answers. They know what the last generation has chosen. They are often in agreement with those choices and often disappointed with where that has taken our world. They know through education, world travel experiences and their own states of enlightenment that there is something amiss. They want real, authentic, trustworthy answers they can integrally bank their lives on. As a nineteen year old Calculus major on academic scholarship who almost died, I made such a journey.
Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice.
ABSOLUTELY YOUR'S
Last time we asked the question of epistemology, or how do you know what you know? In this blog I promised to explore, how do we know whatever we know is true? It is more a question of who or what we have chosen to trust as having authority in our lives. If, as I proposed in my second blog, we truly need an external plumb line in our lives to anchor us, then that plumb line carries a lot of weight in terms of authority.
Plumb lines actually serve multiple purposes in our lives. They not only have authority, they also serve as reference points against which we can develop and espouse coherent and consistent belief systems that keep our lives moored and constant. They carry the weight of informing, affirming, confirming and reassuring us regarding the choices we make and the lives we live.
We all have a plumb line, or even multiple plumb lines if we embrace relativism, pluralism, etc. as authoritative and definitive standards in our lives. This is why certain chosen plumb lines, like relativism and pluralism leave us feeling adrift, lost and confused; they themselves lack constancy and consistency. As human beings we all need a certain amount of constancy and consistency in our lives. We all gravitate in some direction in order to meet this need. It is called teleology, we are directional beings. For the most part, our lives are primarily lived out moving in the direction of getting our real or perceived needs met.
I would challenge you to spend the next week aware of two things. First, listen for how many times you hear yourself or others use the word need. Second, be aware of how often you do the things you do in order to meet some real or perceived need in your life. Become more aware of why those around you or even at large in our world(s) are doing the things that consume most of their time and energy; it is primarily because of some real or perceived need in their lives, society or even on the world stage.
In the final analysis each one of us is going to choose to invest faith or belief in some internal or external reference point or plumb line in order to anchor us, to make sense out of our lives, to answer those existential questions about the meaning of our existence. We all have, are and will do this whether or not we are consciously aware we are doing so. So in the final analysis, your plumb line is both faithfully yours and absolutely yours. No one can live your life for you; you have to come to terms with these issues for yourself. That is part of what it means to live out our lives; to exercise our dignity in the pursuit of the same. That word dignity is huge is this regard.
In my next blog I would like to address issues of dignity as they fit into this construct. I am sure that some or perhaps many of you would like me to simply tell you what I believe on this issues. Do not weary! I am laying a foundation, attempting to build a solid construct, on which to do so. Exercise those rational muscles. Enter the struggle, even if you have already made your choices . . . check them out! I believe we have been spoon-fed what to believe for way too long; not doing the hard work of understanding why we have chosen to believe what we do about existential issues that serve as both internal and external plumb lines in our lives.
This is why many young adults are struggling in our world. They are searching for answers. They know what the last generation has chosen. They are often in agreement with those choices and often disappointed with where that has taken our world. They know through education, world travel experiences and their own states of enlightenment that there is something amiss. They want real, authentic, trustworthy answers they can integrally bank their lives on. As a nineteen year old Calculus major on academic scholarship who almost died, I made such a journey.
Until next time . . . this is, Just Janice.
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